Avoidance Tactics

Alright I admit it - I have a blog (well multiple blogs) and I try to avoid at all costs actually writing anything personal. Ha. My tactic usually includes finding an interesting site and sharing it on my blog(s). It allows me to 1) publish a new post so that I feel good that I have been an active part of my blog.. and 2) avoid actually writing any personal comments, feeling, etc on the blog.

I am not sure what I am scared of. I think it is less that someone could read it and more the fact that I dont want to really sit down and explore my own thoughts. Sometimes that is painful. Not always, I could just write about my feelings on the day, but then that gets kind of tedious. I am totally not on that, unwind and open up writing movement. It's always been a struggle for me.

Me, this morning, blogging.

When I was younger I always thought it was so "COOL" to keep a diary. All the cool teenage girls in movies and tv that I watched kept a diary. So I would buy one and write in it for "therapeutic" purposes. I actually did pretty well at writing to my feelings and what was going on. It usually involved some boy or friend drama. But those writing experiments would last for a week, a month at tops and I'd forget and move on.

Being that a blog (well a personal one at that) is for the most part just an online diary, this whole posting thing gets me. The thing is, I love technology. I want to contribute to the online world. I WANT to write and use my blog daily. I just struggle. And thus we have the "hey - go to this website! It's really cool" posts. Not that these are bad. I just realize that I do it a lot.

What is my point? Hmm, not sure. I guess I'm just trying to open up and do what I am writing about that I don't do. Is it working?

Well, whatever! Just dont expect another post like this for a while! Unless I get that "I wanna be COOL" teenage girl bug again. It could happen. It seems to come and go. Thus is the story of my diary-writing history.